Like my subject line says- this is another thing I'd like to share. This was sent to me by a friend and I found it quite amusing. Hope you do too :)

    AS I MATURE

As I Mature I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years
to build up trust, and it only takes
suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by
on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better have a big willy
or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't
compare yourself to others - they are
more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible
for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of
how hot and steamy a relationship is at
first, the passion fades, and there had better
be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when
something isn't working in your house, one
of your kids did it

I've learned that the people you care most
about in life are taken from you too soon
and all the less important ones just never go away.

"There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle."

--Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Someone that I used to be friends with emailed me this earlier this year, It's been sitting in my email inbox since Febuary- clearing it out and thought I'd share this. I think it's an amazing quote and I'm glad that I can share this with you. Smile for me my dears :)

Hiya all

Thought I'd do a quick update.. I'm sitting in Mum's office at Miller TAFE- passing time before we go and do dinner with her two classes to celebrate the end of the year and end of classes for one class...Altho one of the class's coming back next year for their second year.

Today was such a hot and sweaty day! Ugh, I had to go to the mechanics to get my muffler fixed- they assured me that it'd only take a hour. After waiting one and half, I was informed that the part they received for the muffler was wrong and that it'd arrive in the next half hour or so so I said 'Ok, I'll wait'.. One and half hours later..I was still waiting (That's three hours, mind you! :P)  They eventually said 'It's too hot for you to be sitting and waiting here. Tell you what, come back tomorrow morning and we'll quickly install it. Only 15 minutes max!". I'm all "ok, I'll bring the car back tomorrow".. And go home all smelly of car grease. Urgh. Had a quick shower and walked to the nearby shops where I met Mummy dearest. (heh)..

Ooh, what have I done this week?! Monday was a very bludgy day. I just um, went to the mechanics and got a pink slip check..Failed it.. ugh..not road-worthy my ass! But anyway, thats why I was there today..getting the brake/muffler fixed. I then had lunch with Danni..catching up on gossip from Saturday night...Then went and visited Rach and Len for a bit. Tuesday.. I was at home, took my sister to work... went shopping...and yeah, stayed home. It was nice and relaxing. Today..well, you know what I did...

Ooh ...Saturday night..I haven't told you about that have I? Well, it was an awesome night. I had loads of fun...Will tell you about my weekend another time.. (p.s I only copied and pasted the whole...thing before sat night before it crashed on me..stupid unreliable tblog so...all i wrote about the weekend's gone..Will update another time..and photos!)

We no longer have ADSL at home, only crap dialup til we get a new connection. Thank you my dear father. So any pictures I'd planned to upload have to wait til I'm patient enough, haha.

Hugs and kisses

K xoxox

I'm offically unemployed.

Anyone want to take pity on me and employ me?? :)

Um, the cruise's tomorrroooowww! (Me and 9 other girls are going on a stripper cruise.. www.wildboysafloat.com ) Should be interesting to see how the night goes...

I'm not on tblog for long- just a quick update...

Who's "Meha" that left a comment in my last entry?? (This entry's for ya :P)

Am really worried about my sister....she seems to have psychological problems...There are times where she just lashes out and is really violent... Today she threw a cd-rack at me and it hit my drink and it went all over the computer/keyboard/chair/f loor... the keyboard isn't working great..I have to press hard on the keys.. *shrugs*

But we went and had some retail therapy..I got some black ballet shoes..and this cute jumper kind thing.. in a colour that i never buy! PEACH!!!! Can you believe it? Me in peach?! :) It's kinda see-thru so..something I'd need to wear a singlet with....Too hot to wear it these days but soon soon...(only bout..6 months :P) I also got this other black top that has a drawstring on each side on the bottom... :)

I have no idea what to wear tomorrow night. I'm wearing my black ballet shoes..black pants and one of my tops.. :) Tomorrow- I'm working all morning then going to a bbq with auslan students to help out for a while then home to shower/get changed then...off to the cruise..then.. get back..hav a shower and then go to bunnings to sell sausages for our youth group..

I don't think I'll get much sleep tomorrow so it is for this reason I'm going to bid you farewell..

Goodnight people..luv yas :)

I gave my two weeks' notice and I feel a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I'm actually so relieved but feel bad at the same time- I'm really going to miss the kids I've worked with over this year.

I went to see my boss yesterday to explain everything and she just criticised me and said not too nice things- said I wasn't trying or that I wasn't good enough. What she doesn't realise is that she sets impossibly high standards.

I've spoke to some of the old staff and she's treated them the same so I'm not exactly alone in this which is a relief.

I'm sorry if I'm confusing you guys....

I'll start from the beginning but will keep it short. As I've said- I had some sort of breakdown and din't go to work for a while... I emailed the big boss and explained everything... part of that email is as follows...

"I am being made to feel like a worthless creature that cannot comprehend anything that's been said properly. I dread going to work in the mornings and I'm eager to leave in the afternoons. My confidence is almost all gone. The confidence I may have now is partly a facade. I used to be able to stand up for myself and express my opinions...I still try to do so but now I've resorted to apologising and saying okay to everything. I don't like the person I've become at all."...

After that- a few emails were sent back and forth..I went to see my boss yesterday and the attitude she had...just confirmed my decision to leave..I came hoping to come to a some sort of understanding... fat chance of that!!!

So now, I need an exit interview...I'm working at DEN for a while til karen gets back... gonna take it easy for a bit..see what happens, i guess....augh! anyone have any very casual jobs going?? something i dont need to committ to toooooo much???

Yesterday was one of the worst days this year.

I'm not going to be overly dramatic and say 'of my life' because I've had bad days before!!

Where do I start?!

I was goign to blog when I got home last night but wanted to sleep. I slept for 12 hours- feeling slightly better but..(yes, I'm not at work today)

Yesterday- one of the parents of the kids wanted to talk to me about my previous education and my opinions etc. I gave her the history and my opinions on a specific school and about mainstream schooling itself. What I didn't know..was that I had to give it in a professional capacity. I was giving my opinion as Katrina. Not Katrina the staff member. My boss was listening in and needless to say- she got pissed off at me. I don't know why she was listening in but... She wasn't happy about my comments about a school...(which if I may add- she applied for a job there) but anyway, she went on and on and on about stuff I said and wouldn't let me explain which really got to me. She ended the conversation with walking off and I couldn't say anything. She puts me down everday- I guess I should be used to it... But...I've had enough..ugh

Her and another staff member went to the school next door to do some film editing for the Christmas concert. After they left, I broke down in tears because I felt bad PLUS I hate being talked to in that way. Actually, I've always been talked to in that way with her. I just had enough I guess, after the past couple of weeks. I continued working, with tears streaming down my face. After a while- I had enough and left work early. I said to the woman that works with me.. "You can tell (boss's name) whatever you want. I don't care. I'm going".. I left and cried some more.

Got home, was a little more calm til I explained the whole thing to Mum. I got all fired up. But, ate dinner and got ready for Darts. It was the grand final...We lost but the other team/our supporters and my team said I played well. But at that stage- I was feeling shit enough after what one of my team said to me(about next season..."I know you're only a beginner and weak etc etc etc but you've got to do this and that)..and her face expression when I lost my game. (It was close, mind you) because it gave them the point they needed to win. (There are 11 games.in finals...you only need to get up to 6 before the game's stopped)...When I played, it was 5 them and 3 us... so...*shrugs* Once in Dad's car..I cried once again..

Got home (left my mobile behind)...and got a message from Maz saying...

"Read your tblog, didn't like what you said about me, it doesn't make it ok for you to talk to people about me"..

At that stage- I was so upset that I almost sent a message back saying..'you know what, fuck you'..but..I have to work with her on several occassions so..I decided not to...The comment in the previous post is pretty much what I said when I texted back.. and she replied with...

"Yeah, your blog, your way of telling people. Same shit. I really don't care anymore, I really don't. I've had it."

Yeah, she's had it. Fun.

So, after that ...I just read a book and tried to tune the world out...

When I woke up this morning, it all came back! Ah...Am trying hard to think positively but is pretty hard...

Sorry for the ramble but...like I said in my reply to maz's comment....was YOUR choice to read this.

K

I’ve been asked by some when my next update is going to be. Answer for you, NOW!

Ah, I don’t even remember where I’m up to. I’ll have to check my blog. Ugh.

Ah! The last time I updated was….after dinner with Amanda…

All is still well on that….just not so well with someone else.

I’ll start with Tuesday though…On Tuesday- I went to work...worked for half an hour and said ‘I can’t do this today’ so left and dropped Dad off at Merrylands for the Melbourne Cup. (an annual horse race, meh!) Came home and just vegged. I don’t really remember much of Tuesday. Had to go to darts practice because the grand final is in two days time, arrrgghhhhhhhh!!! Kara came with me and we caught up. It was nice.

On Wednesday- I went to work and it was an average day, I was still feeling sick but nothing I couldn’t get over…. I asked Maz to come to my work so I could speak to her about something. She came and I just quietly showed her my diary and said ‘look, I’ve been really busy’. and she was sitting there with a...strange smile and asked ‘why are you showing me this’... (note: words may be a little muddled… but they’re all approximations of what happened)…

Maz: Why are you showing me this?

Kat: I didn’t like hearing that you’d been telling people that I was avoiding them.

Maz: You were, I never told them that though. I just said you wanted time to yourself.

Kat: That’s not what I heard. You told Diane in the car that I was trying to avoid people. I’ve heard this from three people so I have no reason not to believe them.

Maz: *rolls eyes and folds arms*

Kat: I’m not trying to avoid people- I DO want time to myself but that doesn’t mean I’m avoiding them.

The conversation continued with her denying everything. That was one of the major things that hurt- that she was able to lie to my face. Makes me wonder…..how many other lies has she told me? But I’m not going to dwell on it…..

I also got a little pissed off at her for breaking confidence. I’d told her some things and told her not to say anything but she did. Her excuse was that she was frustrated.

Then out of the blue she says that everything’s been all about me… I was totally taken aback because I hadn’t seen her for a few weeks….I had no idea what she was talking about…and then.. she started complaining about some sort of awful attitude I had at a meeting a few weeks ago. She was grabbing at straws. (Note: I asked Rach about the attitude...she said it was just a distant one...not an awful one)…

I just started ignoring her and did some work- she sat there for a while...said something then left. Soon after she left, I had to go start work...I worked for a while then had an urge to vomit so I got my boss to take over what I was doing so I could go. I sat on the bathroom floor- choking and vomiting….as well as crying… It was horrible. I went out and told my boss what happened and she said ‘Go home. I’ll see you on Friday’. I was like ‘what about tomorrow’. She said ‘if you’re vomiting, you can’t be around the kids….you’ve got to give it 24 hours’…

I couldn’t go home cause I had teaching that night so I went around to DEN and relaxed and did some paperwork that I needed to do…Teaching was okay- I was feeling shit but..tried my best...lol…

Thursday- I woke up in a daze around 12:30pm…I had to go to work between 4 and 8….It was fun. Support teacher for Certificate Two in Auslan….

Friday- went to work and after work...came home and chilled for a bit then went over to Kara, Tien and Jodi’s house and just chilled with them as well as Kym and Ash…It was really good, I hadn’t seen any of them apart from Kara in a while…Left a little before midnight…

Saturday- I had to work from 10 til 12, ughhhh!!! Fingertalk at Parramatta, the class is way too advanced for the material I was given. I’ve got to try to adjust it to make it a little more difficult because I don’t want this course to be a wasted amount of money for them... I want them to get something out of it and it’s my responsibility as a teacher to ensure that they do.

After that, I went to Westfield Parramatta and met up with Rach and Len…Looked around for a present for Anita’s 21^st…. (that night)… Got a photo frame engraved as well as a cute beanie baby….

Got home and vegged for a while…then showered and got ready. Went to the party…By the time I got there, Anita was already...gone!! (drunk)…All in all, it was a good night…saw Michelle…hadn’t seen her in...years probably and met her husband...David... Also caught up with Melissa…Was also good to see some others that I hadn’t seen for a while... I had more than one drink that’s for certain. This delicious wine…uhhh, it was a Brown Brothers Riesling. Delicious stuff!!! (hint hint. if you feel like buying me booze...buy me a bottle!!) I wasn’t drunk but I was quite tipsy. I finally tried a Cocksucking Cowboy...and eugh! Not my scene at all!!!!

Got home and went online for a bit then to sleep. Got up this morning early and dropped Kylie off to work and went to North Rocks for rehearsal... for the play NSWAD’s putting on next Sunday. I walked through the market that’s there every Sunday- next time I’ve got some time. I’ll have a better look...lots of books on sale!!! Ah, the rehearsal was okay, a little mixed up...people were getting frustrated with each other and the play itself... but by the end of the day- started to take shape... It should be good… :-) And now, I’m sitting here with a glass of wine, unwinding before this week.

I don’t know when my next update will be but I believe this one is long enough to last you for a while. Wish us luck in the darts grand final!!!

Luv you guys

Hugs and Kisses

K

Notice the new link on my favourites..

"Will's Blog"....check him out..

I've also deleted some links that weren't getting updated or that were deleted....

But everyone- please give a warm welcome to Will's Blog :P

Feeling heaps better these days.

Had dinner with Amanda tonight and cleared up a lot of stuff. This past weekend has really helped too.

I'm feeling GOOD!!! I bounced back :P

Just needed some time to myself.

Seeing Kara tomorrow night- haven't seen her for weeks.

OH OH OH- We're in the GRAND FINAL next week! *cheers* Wish us luck!!

*sighs* All is good.