I've kinda been at a low...and it took a horrible thing today, to make me stop and look at things differently. I snapped at the client I was working with....it wasn't a small snap. I basically snapped and stormed out of the house and sat outside on the grass. He was being really irritating all day... screaming and banging pots and pans right near my ear. He knew I could hear it so continued but I was staying calm and ignoring him then I started to get a really bad headache and he would not stop screaming. He tried to force me to play X-Box when I repeatedly said I did not want to... he grabbed my wrist and wouldn't let go...tried to twist my arm..I continued to refuse... then he got angry...then the other worker played with him for a bit then she had to answer her phone so I said I'd play for a bit til she came back...he had this really bad attitude... it really pissed me off..so I basically slammed down the console and snapped..and stormed outside...my head was throbbing....and he followed me outside and tried to run over my foot with his bike..then I really let it go...I hadn't had much sleep, woke up and went straight to work...felt kinda sick etc but all that's no excuse for snapping at him...
Really made me think about my behaviour over the last month or two. I'm not really proud of some of my behaviour...and some of the ways I've treated people. I haven't really been the Kat I know although I've seen some glimpses of her..
I just hope I can improve my behaviour and get things back in order.
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